Sweepstakes & the celestial broom

The broom these days, is a law unto itself. After sweeping clean the  streets of Delhi of political muck, the celestial cleaning gadget is now squatting pretty on these very same roads, dropping filth with greater vigour. We wonder, if the new high priest of low conduct will sweep aside the hopes that the common man has sown for him to nurture ??.
Meanwhile, the bobbing white hat army marches on....grossly out of step with the barrage of promises made to its electorate.

KEJRIWAL & the changing game of water polo

Orchestrated by the Congress,the Delhi chief ministerial chair,for many monotonous corruption seasoned years, has been thrumming the dismal antiquated (aunty-quit-ed) chant, 'Sheila....Sheila ki jawani '. This time however,the pension bound tune never struck the right chord. The cacophony was so unpopular, that the electoral belly of Delhi was pleading for tympanic mercy. The conscious mortals of the mutilated capital pleaded for change of tune and composer. The assembly elections of 2013,ushered in prospective winds of change. The new gust pushed in a much needed cleaning apparatus to sweep,scrub and swab in crevices and cavities where it was onerous to dislodge hardened filth preserved by years of miss-governance. 

So, it all boils down to how the common man  or woman benefits ? Take Sheila auntie for instance.Now a part of the ordinary capital flock living off a paltry party pension. She sits ministering how to optimally put to use the 20,000 litres of free water provided by the novice AAP government .There of course are these odd moments when   she hoped against all hope that the people of Delhi will charitably remember her governments water generosity during the rains, when the downpour left the aam aadmi wading in waist deep puddles of efficiency. It allowed them the unique luxury of a hedonistic bath in preserved street salt and grime...many times over. Surely, that benevolence surpassed Arvind Kejriwal's post poll aqua generosity, which in comparison was a pittance. 'So what is all this ado about nothing ?', she bellows adjusting her telescopic eye wear.

Surely,the electorate turned out to be insensitive, blind to her humility and munificence.She had facilitated more free water to a person than what any other chief minister could think of bathing an obese elephant herd in. The spirit of gratitude was dead, she concluded.

Resigning to fate,the bewildered Sheila auntie,already in a state of post electoral disarray,turns to music for therapy. Chirping like a nightingale with a sore throat,her personal top of the chart track is the 1970's hit Smoke on the water. 

While the septuagenarian head bangs, Delhi'ites meanwhile, are taken in by their new found sporting fascinaton - water polo. The AAP government on its part,has even decided to declare water polo as the official state sport (with floating subsidies ofcourse). All this, in the thick of a freezing North Indian winter.

Dial R..... to be routed

Post the 2013 Delhi Assembly elections,the Congress party headquarters on 24 Akbar Road in the capital is abuzz with an army of spring cleaners. The con-men (read congress men for short) were literally swept away by a trendy new broom. All old school cleaners donning 'mango people' brooms have been evicted from the visual bubble of the party office. The new mantra for victory is 'to clean up by connecting to the grass root.' 

It is precisely for this obnoxious reason, that palm shaped vacuum cleaners are replacing wiry, noisy old brooms. At least, the cord connects someplace, lest the grass root.  
To state the obvious, one was witness to wired cleaners of different colours,textures and sizes making their way into the cosy comfort cushion laden chambers of their leaders. After all, leaders who profess about the escape velocity of planet Jupiter for the common man, do need extra terrestrial spring cleaning to connect to the grass root. Blessed we are,how earthly are our leaders ? When in dire straits, dial R...to be routed.

Jest-ice AK Ganguly

 A hymn on the gavel that lowered the bar
T'was assumed....

A vile'd lord of the law

decided to bear his unclean claw

Summoning an unsuspecting  intern

To make merry in a tavern

the man began to paw

The intern let out a wail
the judge tucked in his tail
The court managed to frown
but
was it enough to pull him down?

TARUN TEJPAL : The CON-FUSED Sugar Daddy

Pelting a bad OOMMEN !

"And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other;

 and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also"

Yesterday, when  the chief minister of Kerala was struck by an unholy Marxist projectile above his left eyebrow, the media went blazing on all available decipherable audio,watchable video and  barely readable print. True to  belief in the above prophesy,the minister chose to offer the  neglected 'other brow' too. After all, this is election year and such benevolent gestures do not come in harms way when enduring a little pain in rhetoric. More so, when an array of cameras are rolling spools of sympathy to be played all over national television...... Absolutely no harm !! In fact  during such an act this season the word harm is considered taboo of a higher order.  

The honorable minister however, missed one significant point. The stone in our country is an unchallenged solution to many a  problem. It has the potential to rewrite military doctrines. Consider how simple the economics,logistics and mathematics of this well researched projectile theory is :

See a dog, hurl a stone.

A bird perched, hurl two

A train passing by, swing a dozen

Do not like your neighbor, pelt as many

Want a separate country, bring in a truck load

Upset a politician, book a train with each wagon filled to the brim

These prophesies on stone have many takers in our land. The Kannur wing of the LDF was no different. The CPI state secretary, a loving and caring angel in red named Panniyan Raveendran solemnly declared that the dove and olive branch sporting LDF workers would never resort to such a course. How blessed we are Oh angel in red, we have only seen you shower floral petals and deodorized water on your adversaries to date. Chandy sporting a bleeding brow was hit by a flower in gentle hyperbolic motion.

Not to be let down by the display of such exemplary and divine behaviour, Chandy was quick to add “I take all problems in a positive manner.” and having said so, the other cheek brow was thrust out to bring to bear ' the misery for sympathy'.After all, actions are known to speak louder than words. 

But the seasoned politician forgets, one simple law of conflict : The enemy's arrow follows no determined line. While he grappled with his brow, a well toned stone from the red quarry knocked hard on his head and a bump was quick to mushroom.

   

"BINGO on target again......."  a voice was heard at a distance.

Strong arms n' twisted tails

When a politician catches a cold,an array of bureaucrats around him sneeze. For the 'unchosen' few, it is a Hobsons choice. But for a gratifying majority, the bout of sneezing could start in anticipation......of a chocked nose.

A strong analogy could be drawn in the animal kingdom.The 'wag order' in mice residing in a bureau is stratified into three distinct categories.

The 'A' rat of the bureau is the ever nodding, butter spreading, share seeking variety for who, a politicians wish is his command .They are also the likely variety to savour plum appointments and stay ahead in the rodent race.

'B' rats are fence sitters. After all, which non risk taking mouse would want their cheese moved?

The last in the lot are the 'C' rats. The kind that endure 43 transfers in 15 years, hit out at the sand mafia and limp in the race to ascend and comfort.

Now, where in the human kingdom have we seen this before ??